I have been thinking lately about moving on, especially when it comes to affairs of the heart. Yes, love is on the examination table yet again, this time it is about the sometimes impasse of letting go, and the initial steps one takes in getting over someone.
Even heartbreak can be romantically maudlin. The break up happened a year ago but your thoughts are focused on your ex as if it were yesterday. Literature is filled with many love stories that end tragically where the character is never to recover. However, life, real life, is simply not like that. On this stage, we need to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and move forward, healing, and transitioning. So, the question still remains, how do you get over someone?
I suppose a good place to start is to think about what out attraction was based on in the first place to our mate, then to examine the qualities we admired in them, realizing that those qualities exist in other people as well that don't have the set of problems that made the relationship impossible. Examining this allows us to realize we could in fact love someone else and aid in the choosing of our future partner. I know this may sound like a simple equation, but that is the point. It narrows in on the essential ingredients and gets rid of the messy add-ons. It forces you to take a good look at yourself and your needs and takes the spotlight off of your ex.
Disappointment in love has many lessons to teach if one is willing enough to be introspective about the whole affair. I think that the above exercise could be used in relation to friendships as well. Breaking up with a friend is also a loss that one mourns, although often times it isn't vocalized as such.
Regardless of how "simple" the exercise may be, It is not an easy task, although there is liberation to be found after meditating on the above and moving forward. -tM
"Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be. " -Khalil Gibran