As far as we think we have come in the woman's movement, there was a time when women were considered equal to men and some would even argue above men. We were recognized as warriors, the true healers of the communities. Ancient Civilizations celebrated our strength and sexuality. There was no objectification just pure appreciation of the beauty that was and is.
It wasn't until the mid 18th century when the witch burnings occurred that the females role in society significantly changed, the Church ensured that we would now be seen and no longer heard. And well, then the Renaissance took centre stage and so did the Lady like etiquette.
This lengthy overture brings me to a point I have recently given some thought to; girls learn to fake things at a very early age. "P" stands for Politeness and to Please, and for being mindful of not hurting anyone's feelings even though we may not have respect for the situation or person.
As girls we learn to fake our smile, our laughter, when jokes are being told, or compliments being given, we fake being nice to girls that may bully us in fear of what may happen otherwise, we fake liking sports to get the guy or girl, and we fake being someone we are not just to be accepted into the social circle. There are so many more fakes that a well mannered girl carries around in her back pocket which with time become the forgeries that weigh a woman's purse down.
It is no surprise that as hard as we have fought to be on equal footing with the males in our society we still subscribe to gender based etiquette. From the boardroom to the bedroom, from counterfeit "one of the boys" confidence to faking orgasms, we can be our own worst enemies. I understand that the social constructs of society are such that we as women need to conform to a "man's" world if we are to climb the work place ladder, but in order to be true to ourselves, we need to stop faking the rest. We need to start teaching our girls to be who they are and encourage their voices instead of the copy. I know and understand the complexities of the world and the system itself, and I am not certain if in my lifetime I will ever see women rise up to where they once were predating the power of the church, but I hope that moving forward we can begin to be true to ourselves and our girls by encouraging a respectful but honest voice, one that needs to be heard, and that will leave the power of faking it only to the making it. -tM