Perfectly Not Perfect?

“Perfectionism is an excuse of being insecure.” -Paul Rudd

I was watching Actors Roundtable a few weeks back when someone quoted Paul Rudd and it made me think about perfectionism in its entirety.

Perfectionism may start out as the above, and it may continue to show its face in such form throughout ones life depending on ones approach. However perfectionism can also be about aesthetics especially in design. It can also mean practice to master an art or subject that one is passionate about.

I guess I realized that in some cases yes, perfectionism has been about hiding my insecurities, yet in other cases it had/has nothing to do with insecurity.

I think it all comes down to this: setting high standards for oneself is totally acceptable, it is what you do with those high standards that opens up the possibility of insecurity that is driven by perfectionism. If you are constantly disappointed and blaming yourself for being less then perfect, well then, I am in total agreement with the statement above.

At the end of the day it all comes down to perspective and approach, but then again, maybe I am not a true bona fide type A perfectionist then.

What are your thoughts on Perfectionism? Do you agree with the statement above? -tM

4 Simple Ways to Help Bring Balance to Your Life

Photography: Weaver Cameron Barksdale

Photography: Weaver Cameron Barksdale

  1. Simplify your day. Make a conscious effort not to plan too many things, finish one task before you move on to the other, and be in the moment.

  2. Make Nutrition a Priority. Make sure to feed and nourish yourself with good foods for your particular body and its needs. The gut is the fuel for our entire engine and if that is not working properly neither can you.

  3. Sleep Well. Lower your lights and turn off your devices at a certain time every night. Find what works for you in terms of letting go. If there is a ritual you would like to add such as a hot bath, a soothing shower, or perhaps meditation for a sense of closure on your day it is important to do so.

  4. Notice Your Thoughts. The reality is that there will always be stressful situations, however it is within our control to be able to vary our response to such outside factors. We can either add intensity to them or in turn reduce there effects. Remember that the degree of stress is a perception and that everything is temporary.

These are paraphrased suggestions by Dr. Pratima Raichur with a few additional thoughts.

Beauty Refresh

I was drawn to these photo’s because they reveal a face not so hidden by layers of make-up and Photoshop magic. I appreciate the lines and graceful bags under her eyes, the shadows of light and dark.

I think North America is in dire need of a beauty refresh. I don’t know how we got here, but we did, and it is a sad as well as ugly reality. Somehow in this process of liberating ourselves as women we have also allowed ourselves to be confined and even chained to this youthful, perfect face.

There is nothing wrong with looking like you have lived. I find the living face an incredibly beautiful and graceful face.

Perfectionism is a myth, an excuse for being insecure. It’s time to go inward for many reasons, great things always begin from the inside. -tM

Photography: Porter Magazine

Sunday Ease

Cinematography: Sayombhu Mukdeeprom |  Call Me By Your Name

Cinematography: Sayombhu Mukdeeprom | Call Me By Your Name

Even though we have become a secular society where Sunday’s are no longer “God’s” day of rest, where businesses are forced to remain closed and family time is a requirement (boy do I remember how boring a Sunday could be as a child, quoting Morrissey as an appropriate reference “Everyday is like Sunday, everyday is silent and grey” because that is exactly how it felt, dull, grey, and boring; lazing around all day trying to amuse oneself with play and fascination). Anyway, I digress…

As an adult, I find that I still hold onto those lazy Sunday’s as a way of life, a space for letting go, and connecting to what matters and to those I love. I consciously take it slow on a Sunday. It’s become a way of life. It is a day that I reserve solely for myself and for things that matter to me. It is my day of rest.

How about you, how do you spend your Sunday? -tM

In Celebration

Photography: Maxime Ballesteros

Photography: Maxime Ballesteros

The more mature I get in age, the more I feel like this.

I apologize less for my opinions, I too am taking up my rightful space, knowing and owning the fact that I am the boss of me, and no one else. Other’s opinions, judgements, and the casting of stones, mean very little to me these days. I have now weathered half of my life and it has taken me this long to feel somewhat liberated.

I know people say aging is not for the faint of heart, although for now (as I suppose I am still on the younger side of aging) I am enjoying the internal growth process and the celebrating of its liberties.

And trust me, there is nothing as liberating as celebrating your own self governance. -tM

Strong Friendships

Photography: Unknown

Photography: Unknown

I have this friend, of the opposite sex, that has been in my life ever since my first birthday. On and off we would continuously weave in and out of each others lives, sometimes more regularly then others, but no matter where we were in life, we would always keep the communication lines open even if geography or life wouldn’t allow us the face to face time.

Life long friendship is a massive gift, and he has always made it easy for me to ” just be” in that friendship, and I believe I in return have allowed him the same ease.

Having him in my life makes me feel like all will be okay with the world. He is just that kind of strong and safe for me. -tM

Exits

Photography: Richard Avedon | Harpers Bazaar, 1957

Photography: Richard Avedon | Harpers Bazaar, 1957

I always examine the way people choose to leave my life, their exit conveys a lot about who they are, and what qualities they exhibit as human beings. I feel that exits say more about you then entrances. and oddly enough that is how people end up remembering you.

I always make a conscious effort to leave with dignity and grace. And when I do leave, I leave for good. There is no going back. I never revisit what I left behind. -tM

Stripped

Photography: Alexey Brodovitch

Photography: Alexey Brodovitch

How do you move? How do you use your body to express yourself? Do you take to the dance floor or do you move in the privacy of your own home? Where does your letting go happen?

Baryshnikov has been known to say that “When the body moves, it is the most revealing thing. Dance for a minute and I will tell you who you are.”

I miss that child like freedom of letting go wherever you are. Allowing the body to move as it wants to without the awareness that people may be judging you. Self-awareness is a beautiful thing, but somewhere along the way we allow the projections of others insecurities into our space, and often times internalize them.

I was always free in ballet class, but never really on the dance floor. Great with instruction, not so great with the freedom of creative movement. But I have always danced, sometimes for hours in front of a mirror just watching the beauty of movement.

Music and dance allow me to stop pretending, stripping me, I shed the residue of anything I may have been carrying. It’s a way of getting back to myself.

How about you, what kind of movement connects you to your inner being? -tM

Renewal

It is Born

Here I came to the very edge
where nothing at all needs saying,
everything is absorbed through weather and the sea,
and the moon swam back,
its rays all silvered,
and time and again the darkness would be broken
by the crash of a wave,
and every day on the balcony of the sea,
wings open, fire is born,
and everything is blue again like morning.

-Pablo Neruda

Let go, in order to begin anew. -tM

The Invisible Power of Music

Photography: Unknown

Photography: Unknown

There is this sacred conversation that happens between the soul and the music being played.

Music heard so deeply, that it is not heard at all, but you become the music.

You cannot touch it, yet with precision you converse with its beat.

And when it leaves you, it changes you.

It always changes you. -tM