Solo Measures

Photography: Unknown | Natural Pools, Bolivia

Photography: Unknown | Natural Pools, Bolivia

There has always been something empowering about alone time for me.

Silence is underrated here in North America, so when I can, I sit, walk, or swim, alone. It is my holy trinity of rituals (mind, body, soul connection) an autonomous communion and need to feel myself. In truth, that is how I connect to the Source of Life; directly through me, in silence, and amid nature. For ultimately, we are all alone. No one can truly feel our joys, our sadness, our pains. Only we know the multitude of layers that our emotions carry. So it is important to cultivate that time with the self, in growth, in healing, in reflection, and in rejuvenation. It keeps us strong, and it does the body, mind, and spirit good. -tM

When I am Done, I am Done

Photography: Unknown

Photography: Unknown

I am many things, but one thing I am not is someone who goes back to any past relationship, be it friendship, lover, or casual fling. You see, when I am done, I am done.

There is no friendship after a love affair, no knocking on my door after a friendship has been squashed, no “hey, I am here to see what’s up again” after a casual tryst.

This isn’t about holding grudges or being stubborn, nor is it about not understanding why things didn’t work out. It is quite the opposite, it is about having understood why things didn’t work out, about learning the lessons, doing the work required to heal, and then finally moving on.

Yes, people change, but by the time my relationships are over, people have gotten a second chance, and sometimes even a third. The way I see it is we had our time, we parted for reasons known to both of us, and now we move forward separately. Life is too short to repeat anything, especially patterns.

So you see, it all comes full circle: when I am done, I am done, nothing more, nothing less. -tM

Cool, I Don't Care

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I have always cared too much, you name it, I cared and connected to it. The days of moving through life with my emotions tugging at my every turn left me exhausted to say the least.

I have always wanted to “not care,” translation: I didn’t want to feel so deeply. So in summation, I am finally getting to this point in my life, the not caring point, and it feels liberating to not have your emotions run your life.

I still care, but I don’t emotionally connect at that deep level anymore and I LOVE IT! Don’t get me wrong, there are still things that stay with me longer then they should, (letting go, and caring, can be synonymous), but that separation between self and others is wonderful. It leaves so much more space for connecting to myself, to the world, and to the moment. I can listen, empathize, comfort, and be there for others, but I no longer take that shit home.

I am also at that stage in my life where self-confidence trumps caring about what others think, and in turn, I will do what I have to do for me, without apologies. And if that sounds selfish,

well, I truly don’t care. -tM

In Celebration

Photography: Maxime Ballesteros

Photography: Maxime Ballesteros

The more mature I get in age, the more I feel like this.

I apologize less for my opinions, I too am taking up my rightful space, knowing and owning the fact that I am the boss of me, and no one else. Other’s opinions, judgements, and the casting of stones, mean very little to me these days. I have now weathered half of my life and it has taken me this long to feel somewhat liberated.

I know people say aging is not for the faint of heart, although for now (as I suppose I am still on the younger side of aging) I am enjoying the internal growth process and the celebrating of its liberties.

And trust me, there is nothing as liberating as celebrating your own self governance. -tM

Silent Strength

matisse-abstract nude.jpg

Lately I have been thinking about strength,

in terms of where I come from, and what I was born into.

I am not tough, I have never been, nor have I pretended to be, but I am strong.

In our world, the strength of a woman is so different from that of a man. And that is okay. We need to lean on and look to one another in differences of strength.

Whenever I am in doubt of whether I can overcome a situation, often I remind myself of where I come from and what I continue to be a part of.

For the first time, I am really beginning to own my strength, not just as a woman, but as a human being. It has been incredibly grounding and humbling, as it always is when connecting to the source.-tM

Artist: Matisse | Abstract Nude

Saint Love

Artsit: Egon Schiele | Girlfriends, 1913

Artsit: Egon Schiele | Girlfriends, 1913

The cultivation of Intimacy, whether it be through friendships, lovers, family, or with yourself, that is the way to love. An intimate inclusion that allows you to become more then what you are. It is worth every effort; every heartbreak. It is growth by fire. -tM

The Point of Power

Photography: Unknown

Photography: Unknown

The point of power really is in the present, isn’t it?

Once you have learned and hopefully grown from your past experiences and mistakes, there is no reason to venture back. I think that is also key to moving in the present, letting go of what once was. The future is something that is completely shaped by your present, its actions, intentions, and constant personal growth and evolve.

So accept what is. And be all in, whatever moment that may be. It takes practice and devotion. So today begin making it a point to be conscious of your own personal power. -tM

Love Letter to Self

Photography: Luigi Ghirri

Photography: Luigi Ghirri

“When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety; if I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, and without pain. From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me. There is a great secret here for anyone who can grasp it.” – Rumi

There is only so much that we can control. I have learned to stop forcing things. Often times we just need to find the patience to wait. -tM

Being with Me

Photography: Unknown

Photography: Unknown

In light of a conversation I had last night about the importance of time spent with oneself, I woke up this morning even more appreciative of what that time spent in solitude with the self has allowed me to become.

I am thankful for the strength that my alone time has helped me grow, for the wisdom it has imparted on me, and for the life and grace that continuously get replenished in that space. Being with myself is my safe haven in a world that is sometimes just too much. I am a much better human (soul) when I move at a slower pace, slow is not lazy, for me it is sexy, and also necessary for my solitary self to be able to fully engage in this thing called life. -tM