Partners in Crime

Photography: Unknown

Photography: Unknown

I feel like after you reach a certain age, that friend, that partner in crime eventually moves on to become someone’s significant other, as perhaps do you.

There is something so admirable about the way we used to stick by one another in our youth. Rock stars in our own right, passionately looking for adventure and riding that wave with the truest of hearts. I miss that kind of reckless devotion, that spirit and reverence of youth. -tM

Sharing Sometimes Isn't Caring

Photography: Unknown

Photography: Unknown

I have lived alone, I have shared my space with a partner, and I have to admit that nothing feels (for me) as good as having a space of my own. The peace and freedom that come a long with this luxury are priceless. I thrive creatively, spiritually, and mindfully. I am a better person when enjoying the solitude of my space.

Perhaps some people aren’t meant to share spaces. Perhaps relationships would last longer, even marriages, if we kept separate quarters? Living with someone is tough, at least for me it has always been that way. I think the “problem” is that I enjoy my own company way to much. -tM

This is a Love Story

Photography: Herbert List | Trattoria; Capri, Italy

Photography: Herbert List | Trattoria; Capri, Italy

A smell, a touch, thoughts, moments, feelings, movements, words said, words barely spoken, they all have a distinct taste or fragrance. When we sit at a table, there is more going on then than just simply satisfying hunger. Permit yourself to linger, as there are many spells to be offered by a good meal, the heart, mind, and spirit rarely leave unsatisfied. -tM

My, What Big Ears You Have

Artist: Gael Davrinche | Contemporary Realism

Artist: Gael Davrinche | Contemporary Realism

We all know someone or have known someone who hears and see’s everything, who either “claim” to have overheard the juicy details or were privy to being at the right place at the right time. This is otherwise known as the snoop or the town gossip; big ears, and even bigger mouth.

If they talk about someone else, they will most definitely talk about you. So I stay clear. I don’t want to know peoples dirty laundry, I do not want to participate in bringing someone down, in helping spread word about a situation or current life struggle. And as of lately if and when I begin to judge someone on their behaviour, dress, or otherwise, I stop myself, and that little voice in my head tells me to shut the f*&$ up, because in reality, I need to divert that energy toward me, toward bettering myself, fixing what I believe needs fixing.

I understand the human draw toward these types of headlines, what else was there to do when people didn’t have t.v., lived in a town of a few hundred, and needed some form of entertainment. People are people, and although still entertaining, gossip can also be incredibly damaging.

There has got to be another way for all of us to feel accepted by others without the spread of such tales.

So the moral of this story friends is: steer clear of those with a big mouth and big ears, for like the wolf in “The Little Red Riding Hood” they may be charming but they too will eventually come for you. Trust your instincts and keep moving on. -tM

Title or Creed?

Artist: Unknown

Artist: Unknown

I know many women who want to wear this “crown,” that refuse to be treated any less then the “Queen” they are in life and in relationships.

I will personally never understand this attitude of better than, of needing to be put up on a pedestal. In life I would hate the attention, not to mention that I really believe that as human beings no one is above or beneath anyone, no matter their position in life. Also, putting one on a pedestal can be a very dangerous thing, as even the slightest resemblance to being human with faults, may cause you to fall from grace and result in the dissolve and unravelling of that said relationship. I feel that in relationships NO ONE should be put on a pedestal, or given a title.

I am not adverse to some special treatment and I believe in giving the same in return, as this is your person, however, the idea of being put on a pedestal, met with certain expectations is an invitation for disaster, not to mention the pressure that comes along with fitting into that predetermined role.

Perhaps I am wrong, but being someone’s “King” of “Queen” doesn’t leave much room for personal growth or mistakes in my opinion. However, maybe I am reading too much into the actual title. And maybe it’s just the title that people crave, the feeling of being treated extra special, like a royal without any expectations to follow suit.

I could go on analyzing this need but I will stop here. Just some Saturday morning musings to get the blood flowing while the coffee is brewing. -tM

A Side for you, A Side for Me

Design: Unknown

Design: Unknown

I want to look at you when you speak to me. I want that intimacy, in person, and across from me. I want to fall into those gestures, the details of your face, your own specific qualities. It’s these details that move me, that create a visual intimacy, the things that find there way into memory. At least in my mind. -tM

How to Date The French Way

  1. Know the purpose of your “date,” and keep that in mind when choosing your attire. Bring on the allure.

  2. Lingerie is a must, ALWAYS, even while sleeping.

  3. If you kiss one another or sleep together, you are officially together. There is no such thing as “dating” in the French vocabulary.

  4. Create DRAMA in your relationship to keep things exciting, creating tension, and validation. This could also possibly act as a reminder for him/her to not take you for granted. Don’t get to comfortable. Everything is temporary: “I take my bits and my bob’s and I am out!”

Men, what do you think? Women are you up for the French way of dating? I would be interested to hear about the How to Date The French Way from a male perspective. -tM

When I am Done, I am Done

Photography: Unknown

Photography: Unknown

I am many things, but one thing I am not is someone who goes back to any past relationship, be it friendship, lover, or casual fling. You see, when I am done, I am done.

There is no friendship after a love affair, no knocking on my door after a friendship has been squashed, no “hey, I am here to see what’s up again” after a casual tryst.

This isn’t about holding grudges or being stubborn, nor is it about not understanding why things didn’t work out. It is quite the opposite, it is about having understood why things didn’t work out, about learning the lessons, doing the work required to heal, and then finally moving on.

Yes, people change, but by the time my relationships are over, people have gotten a second chance, and sometimes even a third. The way I see it is we had our time, we parted for reasons known to both of us, and now we move forward separately. Life is too short to repeat anything, especially patterns.

So you see, it all comes full circle: when I am done, I am done, nothing more, nothing less. -tM

Exits

Photography: Richard Avedon | Harpers Bazaar, 1957

Photography: Richard Avedon | Harpers Bazaar, 1957

I always examine the way people choose to leave my life, their exit conveys a lot about who they are, and what qualities they exhibit as human beings. I feel that exits say more about you then entrances. and oddly enough that is how people end up remembering you.

I always make a conscious effort to leave with dignity and grace. And when I do leave, I leave for good. There is no going back. I never revisit what I left behind. -tM

Chemistry (not the Bunsen Burner kind)

Artist: Unknown

Artist: Unknown

I thought this was sincere and sweet. No matter what age we are, the ebb and flow of love, crushes, infatuations, and lustful moments may cause the above reaction. The is no mistaking its chemistry. In fact, chemistry is what it's all about, (or at least initially) isn't it? -tM